 Duration: 00:06:37 View: 318  |
UCLA professors Benjamin Karney and Thomas Bradbury discuss what infidelity means for different people by answering these questions: "Infidelity means different things to different people. What can couples do to make sure that they're on the same page?" and "What do you suggest couples do if they have differing viewpoints about cheating?" |
 Duration: 00:06:24 View: 4,966  |
www.andrewgmarshall.com http Andrew G Marshall offers advice on Infidelity from his book, Infidelity: From Discovery to Recovery in Seven steps, a supportive and practical guide to coping with adultery and saving your relationship There are few things in life more traumatic than discovering that your partner is having an affair. You are not only coping with the pain and anger but also the sense that your partner is a stranger. How could someone you love, and thought that you knew, treat you in this way? How can you ever trust your partner again? With over 25 years experience as a marital therapist, Marshall draws on hundreds of case studies, and provides sensible, compassionate and practical advice. |
 Duration: 00:03:42 View: 4,145 |
Read Entire Article: www.totallifecounseling.com From the Oval Office to Hollywood homes. infidelities make headlines around the world. According to the Myth of Monogamy by Peggy Vaughan, 60 % of husbands and 40 % of wives will have an adulterous affair and 65% of those marriages will end in divorce. Infidelity can destroy even the strongest relationships. The betrayed partner is left with feelings of shame, guilt, and anger. These feelings can be extremely difficult to overcome, however, it is possible to emerge as a stronger couple with the support of family, friends, a therapist, and each other. There are many reasons why someone has an affair. It can range from poor judgment and a lack of impulse control at the office with a co-worker to a more common search for an emotional connection. Whatever the reason the effect is devastation to the relationship. "Nothing rocks a person's sense of self, trust, and marriage more than infidelity," says Michelle Weiner-Davis, author of The Sex-Starved Marriage. "Infidelity leaves people questioning their sanity, as well as everything they believe to be true about their spouse, and about the viability of their marriage. Infidelity is crippling." Consider these 5 Reasons Why You Can Survive Infidelity: 1. RAW HONESTY. After all cards are on the table, the couple has an opportunity to create a new pathway to healing and growth. Honesty is about more than just not lying; it is also about not withholding relevant information. 2 ... |
 Duration: 00:02:35 View: 9,599 |
www.surviveanaffairguide.info How to Survive an Affair A Step-by-Step guide for Saving Your Relationship, affair healing system, Healing As a Couple - Working Together to survive an affair, a system of steps that helps you focus on doing the right things in the right order to save your relationship as opposed to figuring it out on your own. Several hundreds of couples have used it successfully. Surviving infidelity means dealing with awful emotions like anger, frustration, grief and losing most of your self esteem. There are effective ways for surviving an affair, that includes counseling, couple therapy and professional guidance, it is needed for the relationship to withstand all the setbacks. Relationships after an affair can survive infidelity, if the effort is put in and the care and/or love is present in the couple. I'd like to recommend a system packed full of information on surviving infidelity and healing & recovery after an affair, how to survive after an affair and healing a broken relationship. It has helped 1000-s and just may be right for you. Don't give up on the love of your Life yet. There is still hope, you can reverse deterioration of your marriage and successfully reconnect with your spouse. The above tips will get your marriage going in the right direction again, but some relationships after cheating has occurred can take more work. Use professional and personal experience, to learn how to save your marriage after an affair. www.surviveanaffairguide ... |
 Duration: 00:01:37 View: 8,220 |
www.relationshipanswer.com - Surviving Infidelity is a very serious issue in a lot of relationships. There are some common misconceptions about it. One of them is that it is mostly men who cheat. Not true, it is actually pretty evenly divided. A second misconception is that you cant possibly survive infidelity. That also is not true. Unfortunately most couples just really dont have the skills or the tool set to really understand what to do to repair an infidelity. So in that case its a good idea to find qualified therapist or clergy person to be of assistance because there are some very specific things you must do if you plan on surviving infidelity and rebuilding trust. Trust is the thing that is most damaged in an infidelity. Later on though, if you can work through the issues and really change your relationship for the better many people find that you actually end up with a better, much stronger relationship than you ever had to start with. Because a lot of the early mistakes and expectations that were not quite accurate get corrected and resolved and that is the important thing because remember the outcome you are looking for is to have a happy, safe, healthy, loving marriage. |
Resisting Retaliation
When I hear about couples that are cheating on their spouses, my first instinct is to feel for the spouse that doesn’t know. You know, the one that is living their life in a utopian-type of existence, misled by the assumption that their spouse is as devoted and faithful to them as they are.
It’s a cozy feeling, seeing and reading of other couples infidelity problems, not dreaming for a moment that it could be happening to you.
Until reality bites…
If the reality of infidelity or doubt has bitten your relationship, bite back:
It may be a gradual feeling of unease, a noticed brief moment of eye contact between your spouse and another, a comment out of context by a friend or colleague, a story that doesn’t quite add up. But in that brief moment, the foundation of confidence placed in your spouse and marriage starts to crack.
After the initial shock that it could even be happening, many people vow payback, revenge, and one of the more common reactions in terms of payback is the temptation to have an affair in retaliation.
A retaliatory affair would seem the most unlikely thing to do, considering the pain that the first affair caused, but it seems to be an increasing phenomenon, at least from the limited research I have done with members who have kindly offered feedback. To be honest, a retaliatory affair was the last kind of reaction I would have expected.
Sure, the anger is real, as are the feelings of hurt and betrayal, but interestingly many women and men who spoke to me were determined that they wouldn’t be seen as victims. Far from it, in fact, and many were determined to retaliate and do it in such a way that their partner may feel some of the hurt that they felt at the time.
Let’s be honest. Every one of us have times in our lives when we see someone that we consider to be very good looking, either a beatiful face, a beautiful smile, a beautifully proportioned body, or a confident demeanour that seemed both charismatic and magnetic. Good looking people are all around us. Yet it would never occur to us to take our initial attention or attraction to a person to the point where we would contemplate entering into a sexual relationship with them. After all, being married is a commitment, a promise of fidelity, a vow to honor one another.
We see beauty, but we don’t feel the compulsion to act on it.
However when your partner departs from this commitment in such a shocking and hurtful fashion, it leaves many questioning their beliefs, and indeed their fidelity. If their fidelity has resulted in them being cheated on and hurt so badly, surely it is okay to sleep with someone else to ‘even up the score,’ so to speak?
That co-worker that has made fleeting eye contact with you at the copier machine, the shop assistant that has inadvertently flirted with you, the friend of a friend that has made a point of talking to you at parties and comments on your looks, an ex whose contact details you still have or remember, all of these people are now potential playmates. After all, if it’s good enough for your spouse to do it, surely there’s nothing wrong with you doing it too?
The one determination of people in this position is that if they are going to have an affair they will do it better and with someone hotter.
Now I’m not saying all victims of cheating end up doing this, because many don’t. But the knee-jerk reaction to go out and have an affair as well is a common reaction that many people seriously consider and follow through.
Your first reaction should be to eliminate all doubt:
But does sleeping with someone else really make the infidelity hurt less? Does it make you feel better? Or is it one of those things you do at the time that you later live to regret?
I’m not going to tell you if it’s right or wrong, as it’s a judgment call that each of you are called to make as you comtemplate the reality of infidelity in your marriage.
But if it is something that you are seriously contemplating, have you given it enough thought? How are you going to feel at the moment you are cheating on your spouse? How are you going to feel after? Can you live with the knowledge and the consequences of your actions?
For many, it’s a ‘yes.’ But for many others, it brings a whole new raft of issues to what is already an emotionally-charged situation.
Interesting thought though. Is retaliation in the form of an affair okay or not? Would it make you feel better or worse?
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For further advice and information, check out How to Catch a Cheating Spouse:
How To Catch a Cheating Spouse product is a compilation of quality ebooks covering tips and methods to uncover your cheating spouse to marital advice for couples in crisis. Also included is bonus tracking software Sherlock Pro, which tracks screencaps, websites visited, and keylogs. This ebook and software package is a comprehensive tool for partners that want proof of infidelity or peace of mind. You can learn more about how to catch your cheating spouse at:
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Warning Signs Of An Online Affair
The Most Important Warning Signs of an Online Affair
Affairs that are carried out over the internet are increasingly common, and marriage counselors report a sharp increase in the amount of couples that come to therapy each year as a result of an affair that has been carried out online. The greatest risk to a couple still involves co-workers, friends or neighbors, but the internet enables people to develop close relationships with others despite the distance or lack of social connection.
When a partner is developing a cyber-affair, there are a number of techniques and strategies you can employ.
There are a few additional key pointers that indicate what is happening. They include:
Developing secrecy and a need for privacy.
If someone is conducting an affair online, their privacy, particularly how this applies to their computer usage, is suddenly very important. The computer may be moved to a less visible area of the house, the spouse may change their password to prevent you from accessing the computer when they are not around, and your partner may react angrily when you approach them or disturb them while they are online. In fact, disturbing them while they are online can tell you a lot about what is happening. Are they open about what they are doing? Do they get angry or defensive if you disturb them? Do they react with surprise and close their browser when you come near the screen? The volatility of their reaction will be able to indicate quite clearly if thier computer usage is something you need to be concerned about.
Change in home life and sleep patterns.
Internet chat room usage increased sharply after dark, so your partner may be motivated to stay up late and be part of the action. Getting to bed very late or getting out of bed very early in the morning may point towards your partner visiting dating sites and chat rooms to exchange emails with a new love interest. This change in sleep patterns can have a significant affect on your home life and your relationship with them. There may be little time for intimacy or communication in your marriage if your partner is spending late nights and early mornings at their computer.
Decline in household chores.
As a consequence of spending so much time online, the state of cleanliness in the house may start to suffer. The lawns might not be mown as often, dirty washing may pile up, dirty dishes may stay unwashed, and maintenance around the home may be neglected in favor of a few more preciouse minutes online. This decline in the household may signal a change in priorities. The investment in the online relationship may come at a cost to your partner’s contribution to the chores and to your relationship.
These are just a few of the major indicators of an online affair. To get the full story and find out for sure if your partner is straying online, get my course containing my truth-busting e-book as well as my explosive tracking software!
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For further advice and information, check out the How to Catch a Cheating Spouse course, by online guru Sarah Paul.
How To Catch a Cheating Spouse product is a compilation of quality ebooks covering tips and methods to uncover your cheating spouse to marital advice for couples in crisis. Also included is bonus tracking software Sherlock Pro, which tracks screencaps, websites visited, and keylogs. This ebook and software package is a comprehensive tool for partners that want proof of infidelity or peace of mind. You can learn more about how to catch your cheating spouse at:
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