I have a feeling my husband is seeing someone. I have heard women say "trust that feeling" but could it be wrong? He saw another woman 2 years ago, visited her at her work and called her a few times, but he says it was never physical, just a friend thing. A friend he had to hide from me and lie about when I asked him. He says he doesn’t talk to her anymore but I still have that nagging feeling. I’ve never been jealous before, is this what it feels like? I want to text him saying I’m her and see if he responds. I really need to know if I can trust him but I am so afraid to find out what he will really do. If you’re husband was cheating, would you want to know or would you rather be in the dark if it meant a possible divorce?
Who wouldn’t want to know? I’d rather get the truth out there in the open then hurt inside worrying about what may or may not be going on.
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10 Responses to “If you could catch your husband cheating, would you?”
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July 29th, 2010 at 2:12 am
Who wouldn’t want to know? I’d rather get the truth out there in the open then hurt inside worrying about what may or may not be going on.
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July 29th, 2010 at 2:49 am
My advice.. .Trust that feeling.
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July 29th, 2010 at 3:31 am
It’s called woman’s intuition for a reason. There is a reason why you are feeling this way. Trust your instinct and move on. Why spend your life being unhappy and always wondering if he is doing anything with anyone else? You deserve better. There are better, honest men out there.
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July 29th, 2010 at 3:57 am
confront him….but be prepared for the consequences…
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July 29th, 2010 at 4:02 am
I would definitely want to know. I would not want to be married to someone who didn’t love me and treat me the way I deserve to be treated. Too often everyone knows but the wife … I’d feel like a fool if everyone knew but me. I wouldn’t want to be sharing my husband with anyone – if he wants to be shared then I wouldn’t be a part of it.
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July 29th, 2010 at 4:40 am
I would want to know. I would want to catch him.
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July 29th, 2010 at 5:22 am
I would want to know but i wouldn’t go through such great lengths as to cause him to think I am crazy. Just snoop a little or surprise him without him knowing you are suspicious.
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July 29th, 2010 at 6:08 am
If you’re not a naturally jealous person, and you’re concerned about this situation, your intuition is probably right.
I would personally rather known than to be kept in the dark. Either way, you’re not really in the dark, since you have your suspicions and they alone are eating you up inside, so it’s better to confront it.
Ask him, directly. If he’s not expecting the question, he won’t be able to lie convincingly, and you’ll be able to read it on him.
Don’t bother with the text message, as he may recognize your phone #.
I wouldn’t ordinarily advocate breaching people’s privacy, but I’ve known of too many people whose boyfriend’s insisted they weren’t cheating, only for their girlfriends to sneak into their emails and discover that they were. If you know her name, check out his emails to see if there’s anything from her. Better yet, you can always try to find her email address online and try to spoof an email from him to her, and see how she responds.
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July 29th, 2010 at 6:55 am
Tough question. Some women wouldn’t want to know because then they’d have to do something about it – and they’d rather not face that, just hope it all goes away. That might work IF you’re not in a position to be able to divorce. I think I’d want to know – but I wouldn’t want to actually catch him in the act – that would NOT be something I’d want stuck in my mind for the rest of my life. But I guess I’d want enough solid evidence that he couldn’t deny it.
Just be very careful before you accuse your husband of cheating. I know many women here say to trust your intuition – but I really don’t think that always works. Sometimes you’re just a little overreacting to what is just a friendship. What happens if you accuse him & it’s not true? HE might just decide to leave because you don’t trust him – kind of a catch-22 here. IF I were you I’d just wait & watch. If there is something going on he will eventually give it away somehow. I would definitely not try to set him up – bad news there whether or not he’s cheating. Whatever you decide, good luck. It’s not a comfortable place to be.
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July 29th, 2010 at 7:37 am
If he is cheating I would want to know for sure and the best way to know for sure would be to catch him. Otherwise you wonder and anxiety builds up and that is an awful feeling to deal and live with every day. If you know; you can deal with it and move on one way or the other. Goodluck.
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