My husband and best friend kissed. I think they are both Truly sorry for what happened and it will not happen again. I am having a hard time moving past it. How do you get over it and forgive and forget? Any helpful hints on how to move on? It is making home life a little difficult plus I work with my friend so it is a little uncomfortable at work. I am trying to work on it but my head still goes thinking. How do I stop that? Will it stop after time?
Look I am going to be as practical about this as possible. If you want to get past this then you will. If not then you won’t. Do go choosing sides because they both at fault so you can’t loose your best friend and keep your husband or loose your husband and keep your best friend. Want revenge kiss her boyfriend/husband or one of his friends.
Two wrongs don’t make a right but they teach you in algebra that two negatives can equal a positive, right?
July 20th, 2010 at 5:10 pm
Wait a minute, your best friend???? I don’t think I could get past that one. Sorry I missed that the first time. I don’t think I could get past it with either one of them.
Come On!!! EVERYONE knows the no best friend rule, and that applies to boyfriends…..That was your Husband!
They knew what they were doing was severly wrong……
For your own sanity, get out today, if possible.
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I sure hope you can fire her.
July 20th, 2010 at 5:32 pm
You will never get over it. Find a new job and a new spouse.
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July 20th, 2010 at 6:01 pm
First, make sure they never see or speak to each other again. It’s going to take a while to not let it affect you all the time, but I am sure you won’t forget it. You shouldn’t.
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July 20th, 2010 at 6:50 pm
Throw him out…he’s a cheater.
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July 20th, 2010 at 7:35 pm
Yes it will get easier, your husband and your friend need to regain your trust again and that will take time, but you will get there
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July 20th, 2010 at 7:49 pm
How can you still call her a friend? I’d try and forgive my husband but she’d be HISTORY!!!
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July 20th, 2010 at 8:04 pm
Either move past it or move on. You sitting there and stewing over the situation isn’t going to change it. Go to marital counseling, fix your marriage, and dump the so-called friend!
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July 20th, 2010 at 8:43 pm
do a threesome and stay married
or get out and get divorced
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July 20th, 2010 at 9:06 pm
Consider trying counseling that should do the trick.
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Jesus Christ is the true key to life give that a shot.
July 20th, 2010 at 9:17 pm
I would get passed it by dumping the best friend and my hubby….
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July 20th, 2010 at 9:37 pm
i wouldn’t put up with that foolishness! he would be out of my house. cheating is cheating plain and simple!
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July 20th, 2010 at 10:00 pm
i don’t think i could ever forget. and true friends don’t kiss your husband. it is only your decision to make but the trust has been broken.
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July 20th, 2010 at 10:47 pm
LEAVE HIM!!!!!! you can’t trust him anymore..
he may look sorry.. but it can’t happen again cause he can lie….
ok lol maybe dont leave him.. but… just know that you can’t trust him anymore.. or your best friend.. if they dont’ know how to respect your marriage status.
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July 20th, 2010 at 11:23 pm
oh man that suck.. i hope that will never happen to me.. if its me ill poor oil on that girl hair and say sorry.. then as soon as she turn around ill throw a match on her hair..
the husband ill hurt the nuts every night and SQUEEZE until he nearly die..
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July 20th, 2010 at 11:50 pm
Jesus said that there are two reasons to get a divorce, and only by these two reasons should a divorce proceed.
1 if your spouse dies, you are no longer bound by the laws of marriage.
2. If you divorce your spouse because he was unfaithful, you have a right to divorce him. With that, you will not be accounted for him commiting adultery.
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July 21st, 2010 at 12:00 am
That’s really tough, I think You need to stop being friends with her, really. Anyone that could kiss YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT A FRIEND. You and him need to talk about what happened, then I would get separated for awhile. I don’t think you should just move on, this is major.
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July 21st, 2010 at 12:43 am
If my husband kissed a stranger……maybe just maybe I might be able to get past it.
But if he kissed my best friend….I don’t think I have that much forgiveness in my heart to let that slide. Those are boundaries you just don’t accidentally cross. I don’t care how sorry they say they are.
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July 21st, 2010 at 1:04 am
My best friend would NEVER do that to me. She isn’t and never was your best friend. Personally, I couldn’t get over it. If you already can’t stop thinking about it, will you ever? My guess is no.
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July 21st, 2010 at 1:51 am
It will stop when you’ve kicked his @ss to the curb & sabotaged your "friend" to get her fired. They don’t feel truly sorry. They feel truly sorry that they got caught.
EDIT: I agree with Valerie. Thumbs up!!
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July 21st, 2010 at 2:33 am
WOW you are really forgiving!! first of all did they bother explaining what happened and apologize over and over and over again?? or did you catch them in the act? I know if it was me I would cut all ties with that "friend" and worry about making my husband pay over and over again until i finally found it in my heart to forgive him….forget that girl that is NOT a friend and what went wrong in your marriage that made your husband think it was ever ok to even think about kissing another woman??? Counselling pronto!! and think about having only gay or happilyy married friends from now on!!
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July 21st, 2010 at 3:17 am
This is very stressful.
Everybody is different.
Some people can forget and forgive…but some cannot, no matter how hard they try! I would ask you to consider going to counseling or therapy, or maybe joining a support group so you can vent.
What happened to you is terrible, and I know I couldn’t be able to forgive either one for betraying me like this.
It will take a lot of time for you to forgive them both and for trust to reappear. Be patient if you are willing to really try to put this behind you.
Good luck.
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July 21st, 2010 at 3:34 am
You don’t. My hubby also "only kissed a friend of his". I haven’t gotten over it yet. Never will. How do you get over it? You don’t. You will always wonder if he’s late, what he was doing, if they were together. You will never be truly friends again w/ this woman. My advice, try to find a new job away from this woman and if you want to stay in this marriage – both of you need to go to counseling to work out these issues.
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July 21st, 2010 at 3:52 am
The way to get over it is to leave. You will never trust him again and you will always wonder what he is doing when he is not around you. Hopefully you’re no longer friends with that person. Hopefully you learned from this. Women have to be careful who they allow in their homes and what they tell their "best friends". You can live in misery or you can move on. I understand it was just a kiss but whose to say it wasn’t more?..
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July 21st, 2010 at 3:58 am
for some people the best way to forget is too cheat the same he did … but personally for me it would not help ..it would only get worse … i would just try not to think about it… to avoid thinking about it i would do something fun and interesting … like playing tennis …. think of something good and fun
or i would just talk to him and be sure that this won’t happen again ..
…but i would not be friends with that friend any more … don’t trust her! she is not ur friend!
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July 21st, 2010 at 4:19 am
Look I am going to be as practical about this as possible. If you want to get past this then you will. If not then you won’t. Do go choosing sides because they both at fault so you can’t loose your best friend and keep your husband or loose your husband and keep your best friend. Want revenge kiss her boyfriend/husband or one of his friends.
Two wrongs don’t make a right but they teach you in algebra that two negatives can equal a positive, right?
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July 21st, 2010 at 4:47 am
you don’t get passed that one, get a new best friend for a start.. if you want to stay with your husband you both will have to work at that one, it wont be an easy Road.. good luck
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July 21st, 2010 at 5:17 am
Whenever this pops into your mind, just say to yourself ‘get over it’.
You may forgive the two of them, and you should if you feel that they are sorry for it. But, you will probably never forget it, try as you might. This is not a bad thing, it is just a fact of life.
Don’t bring it up to your husband or friend and treat both of them as you always have in the past.
It will take some time to get over it and it takes some practice. There is no magic button to push. They did a thoughtless thing and now have to live with it. All of you have some work to do, just do your part for your own sake.
Good luck.
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July 21st, 2010 at 5:48 am
This is a tough one. First thing you need to do is find out why your husband kissed her. The fact that she is your best friend doesn’t matter. What matters is that your husband kissed another woman.
Once you know the reason you can determine how to move on. If he’s a jerk and gets defensive, then I’d make him sleep somewhere besides your bed and tell him that when he’s ready to talk to let you know. If he says that he was just curious, then you have a MAJOR problem on your hands. If he says that he was lonely and confused, then you have something to work with.
Good Luck. If anything like this happens more than once, cut bait and run. Another suggestion would be to NOT have any children (if you haven’t already) until you feel totally comfortable with your marriage.
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July 21st, 2010 at 6:38 am
omg i read your other questions and your husband is a piece of shut..omg, i can’t believe you still call that hoe your best friend. kick his azz and have some self respect and dignity. If you consider yourself a piece of shut just like them two, and sudgest them to have a there-som..joke..f them..you can do better.
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July 21st, 2010 at 7:28 am
I don’t know if that is something I could get past they both betrayed you the two people that were suppose to be the closest to you.Maybe you should try marriage counseling and get a new best friend you took vows with your husband and not with her and maybe you should get a new job because as long as she is around then it will be harder to get over.And are you sure that is all they did?
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July 21st, 2010 at 8:05 am
OK. It’s JUST a kiss. I know you may feel bad about that, but it’s not like he really got to sample the goods. Get over it. There are husbands doing much more out there.
Sometimes a guy and a woman get together and their lips are like magnets. Happens all the time. Now if it progresses to 2nd and 3rd base — that’s the moment of truth.
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July 21st, 2010 at 8:15 am
The difficulty is the mistrust. While "sorry" technically covers the mistake, it does not undo what occurred. That will unfortunately remain. Additional drawback is that your husband decided (which is a long process) all the in between steps leading to the kiss. He now is tasked with attempting to undo that process which is most likely impossible. On the other hand. Time can lead to a more respectful relationship between you and your husband. The decision is yours weighing your husbands positive qualities and, for the short term, deciding to put the incident away. This doesn’t take away your right to talk about it until you are satisfied. Deciding to move on is your decision. It’s a lot to deal with so this won’t happen overnight or even in two months. Take care.
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July 21st, 2010 at 8:37 am
People tell you to leave him and get a divorce, as if it was that simple. You have a lot to consider here. Right now you are hurt and understandably so my adice to you will be not to rush into any major decisions right now. I am sure you have a lot of question in your mind and until you get answers it leaves you in limbo. You need to hear the whole details from your husband and he needs to come clean as to why and what lead him to do such a thing. Get into therapy to help you sort your feelings on this and so you can get the guidance to walk through this very difficult time. Also, it is best to not involve yourself intimately with your husband as feeling betrayed as you do will only make things more difficult to do so. Be prepared for a long long journey to recovery. And do keep in mind that all marriages come with some hurt and challenges. You need to weigh to good over the bad in your marriage and let this be your guide in your decision. Also you husband NEEDS to make restitution to you if ever you decide to forgive him. I know it hurts, and it will take time to get over it no matter what you decide. The one advice I will give to you is to get rid of the friend. She is not a friend. And see if you can get employment elsewhere so that you do not have to always run into her. Good luck to you!.
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July 21st, 2010 at 8:52 am
Go to book store or church. I have seen some books at the bookstore that might help or go to Church to find a way to deal with this issue.
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July 21st, 2010 at 9:00 am
hit him on his nuts
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